During a Twitter conversation with a sexuality educator friend of mine, Corey Alexander about his upcoming class at InstigateNYC on Stone Sex and Culture, he directed me to this definition of Stone Butch…
The usual boundaries/preferences I’ve seen classified as “stone butch” are:
1) No receiving of penetration. Period. Not anywhere or with anything.
2) No receiving of genital (front hole) penetration, but oral and/or anal penetration are negotiable.
3) No receiving of eroticized genital contact at all.
4) No receiving of eroticized contact with either the genitals or the chest.
Following the traditional definition, I feel Stone when I’m feeling body dysmorphic. I don’t identify as Butch (yet?), but recognize different touch/desires when I’m in boy head space. After noticing periods where my breasts felt “off-limits”, I finally put two-and-two together while at CampOUT realizing that it coincided with times when I’m a boy. in these moments, having my breasts objectified and my nipples focused on makes me incredibly uncomfortable; however, being touched flatly on my chest feels okay since it doesn’t draw attention to my breasts (which to me exemplify femininity.) While I’m not entirely opposed to having my bits played with during these times, I have noticed a shift in desire and preference. In these times, I prefer an overtly aggressive top who takes full control or to be the top focusing on someone else. When Stone, I am more detached from my emotions and desires; my focus is on the act rather than the emotional aspects.
But, what about Stone as an archetype? In Raven Kaldera & Joshua’s class at CampOUT, we discussed the Sacred Whore & Sacred Slut… and I proposed the Sacred Stone. Raven and Joshua stated that the Sacred Whore offers sex magick and pleasure to Others while the Sacred Slut shares sex for self pleasure. I went further to suggest that the Sacred Stone withholds for Self Conservation and energetic recharge. My proposal was based in my own experienced cycle of the three; although I have extended periods of being sexually open and carefree, I also have periods of withdrawal. After periods of intense sexuality. I often feel Stone; after giving freely of myself, I close off my libido & sex.For me, nothing is static. Like all things in life, all things are impermanent.
Food for thought… Chomp!