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I Miss(ed) You… but I Never Had You.

The Nickelback song , “I Miss You” plays on my Pandora and I am transported to a particular point in time. Suddenly, the feelings I had then flood back and I am reminded of how I felt – and what I didn’t feel in return.

When I look back, I see myself wanting to offer undying love and devotion to someone I thought was worthy of that precious gift. Yet, I also see a person yearning to BE loved… who was looking to someone who wasn’t willing and able to do so in return. I was enamored by this person’s charm and presence; captivated and enthralled, I chose to pursue rather than make a mutual step together.

Years later, when we would later became partners, I thought my patience and perseverance had finally “paid off”. How could I have valued myself so little (or them so much) to think that whatever resulted from them “coming around” would ever be fulfilling? I acknowledge the steps it took for me to get where I am and I breathe in and out. I sit with where I have been, and where I stand.

When I come back to the present moment, I am reminded of how different things are… and I am grateful. Today, I walk with a partner at my side hand-in-hand.

We live.
We love.
We laugh.
And we dream.

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