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An Open Heart… For the First Time

I was stretching before doing a run on the treadmill at the gym when this song, “First Time” by Lifehouse came on. I swear, I kid you not, I stopped dead in my tracks and stared at the heavens (or in my case, the vaulted gym ceiling.) It was ducking eerie… I heard the words and just said, “Damn it, can I get a single thought in my head without Mick coming to mind?”

The answer seems to be a glaring ‘no,’ but I’m starting to accept it.

I’m also starting to get used to missing Lee… but I’m accepting that it’s just the way things are. I hate the distance and the silence, but I cherish the sweet moments of randomness that make me smile and feel remembered. Oh gods, do I hate feeling like I’ve been forgotten. But, then again, don’t we all?

Every time I think I can’t love, have guarded my heart, or that I couldn’t possibly love another person, I find more reasons to open my heart and give another piece of myself away. It’s really quite beautiful… because the more I give away, the more I get in return. *smile*

 

Selected lyrics… oh fuck it, I’ll include them all (seeing as they all seem to fit):

“First Time”

We’re both looking for something
We’ve been afraid to find
It’s easier to be broken
It’s easier to hide

Looking at you,holding my breath,
For once in my life,I’m scared to death,
I’m taking a chance,letting you inside.

Feeling alive all over again,
As deep as the sky, under my skin
Like being in love, she says
For the first time
Maybe I’m wrong,
But I’m feeling right where I belong
With you tonight
Like being in love
To feel for the first time

The world that I see inside you
Waiting to come to life
Waking me up to dreaming
Reality in your eyes

Looking at you,
Holding my breath,
For once in my life
I’m scared to death,
I’m taking a chance,
Letting you inside.

I’m feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that’s under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I’m wrong, I’m feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time

We’re crashing
Into the unknown
We’re lost in this
But it feels like home

I’m feeling alive all over again
As deep as the sky that’s under my skin
Like being in love, she says, for the first time
Maybe I’m wrong, I’m feeling right
Where I belong with you tonight
Like being in love to feel for the first time